Scion of Legend
by 18 More
Summary: When the Shepherds run into trouble at the Sage's Hamlet, who will save them? Why, Owain will, of course! He'll just run them down as a car. ...Wait, what? (crackfic, not to be taken seriously)


**Scion of Legend**

The Shepherds were in trouble.

They went in the Sage's Hamlet underestimating the enemy. Now they were surrounded by the bandit group, whose members were clearly more powerful than the Shepherds were. The tactician of the Shepherds was in the middle of the Shepherds, muttering and cursing under his breath.

"Damnit, we should've level grinded a bit more," Robin cursed.

"Uh, Robin? What's 'level grinding'?" Chrom, his best friend and captain of the Shepherds, asked, confused.

"It doesn't matter now. We're going to die, and until then, I'm just going to wait here until you or I get killed by one of these overpowered enemies, get a 'game over', and then try this all over again once we either recruit my overpowered daughter or when our group is more powerful. Until then, good luck!" With that, the tactician plopped face down on the grass to take a nap.

"Robin, what did you even say? I couldn't understand anything you said!" The lord was utterly baffled at this point.

"Shut up and die already," The tactician's muffled voice came out.

Chrom sighed in annoyance.

Just when the Shepherds all thought that all hope was lost, Lissa spotted something on the horizon, zooming towards them at a fast pace. "Chrom, look!" She pointed at the thing.

The "thing" had a sleek golden yellow body that looked to be made out of a metal of some sorts. It moved towards the group on four gray wheels with black tires. It had dark glass windows, one facing forwards, two on the opposite sides on what appeared to be doors, and one in the back. All were most likely for people inside to look from the outside. On the front of the vehicle two symmetrical opaque crescents were on opposites sides of each other, with a small silver insignia between them. On the rear of it, two more opaque red crescents were on opposites sides as well, and between them in the center of the rear five large letters were imprinted, spelling out "SCION". Below that rested five more letters on a white metal rectangle in dark-colored letters, spelling out "OWAIN".

Though no one in the Shepherds knew it, they were looking at a car.

A Scion, to be exact.

The car sped down to where both groups were, and proceeded to brutally run down the bandits surrounding the Shepherds.

The Shepherds just stood there, watching in awe as the formerly overpowered bandits were flattened and crushed. One of the bandits tried to run away from the slaughter, but he too was flattened by the car.

After the last bandit was killed, the Shepherds (except for Robin, who was still napping during all of this) cautiously circled around the car, weapons drawn. All of them were carefully watching the car, a little fear in their eyes. The car sat there, unmoving.

"Wait, everyone. I know who this is," Lucina spoke up. Everyone turned to face the blue-haired princess, waiting for a response.

"This is Owain, Lissa's future son and my cousin."

Everyone was shocked by this news, Lissa most especially.

"Wait, so he's inside of that thing?" Lissa inquired, trying to look through the dark glass.

"...He is the vehicle, Aunt Lissa."

"Oh. ...Wait, so I gave birth to..." Lissa trailed off, motioning to the car.

"Yes, you did," Lucina nodded.

Lissa shuddered.

"Wait."

Everyone, minus the car, now turned towards Robin, who had awoken from his nap.

"If this...vehicle is Lissa's son, then who's the father?" Robin asked.

No one, not even Lucina or the other future children, had a response.

* * *

**Hey guys, while you may be going, "What the hell is going on here?", let me explain. The paralogue where you recruit Owain is called "Scion of Legend". While playing this paralogue, my mind thought of a car manufacturing company called "Scion". Then I thought, "Hey, what if Owain was a car?"**

**...And then this happened.**

**I don't know if this is a good story, as it is my first fic (and crackfic). That being said, I would appreciate some reviews as to how my writing is, but it's fine if you don't want to review. All I can say is that I hope you enjoyed reading it.**

**Until next time!**

**-18 More**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fire Emblem or characters from Fire Emblem, and I do not own Scion.**


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